November 9 – Colleen Hoover | 2 Stars

Book | November 9

Genre(s)| New Adult / Contemporary / Romance

Date of Publication| November 10th, 2015

My Rating | 2 STARS

Cover:

20875599

REVIEW:

Book(s) – November 9

Feels– NONE I AM DEAD INSIDE

Tears – None (I might’ve cried, because it was so bad)

Hey guys,

I thought I had other books to review and the 250 words review I left on Goodreads for November 9 would suffice, but I wanted to post it on my blog and so here we are.

I’ve read few Colleen Hoover books – Hopeless, Losing Cinderella, Never Never: Part One, Confess and now, November 9 and I don’t know why I continue reading her stuff if none of her books are ones I like. I suppose it’s to do with the fact that nearly everyone who reads them praises them to the high heavens and then I’m intrigued enough to check them out.

CoHo’s books are bloody fucking confusing okay. Here are my tips to enjoy a Colleen Hoover novel:

1. Leave logic & reason behind, like far behind.
2. Forget that you’re a feminist and don’t like weak heroines who need guys to tell them how beautiful they are.
3. Learn to love the overused trope: girl meets boy – boy tells girl she’s the bomb – girl falls in love – pretentious plot line (meeting once a year) and finally, after huge but not really plot point reveal and acceptance, the happily ever after.

Also, is it just me or did this book go to great lengths to defend it? From defending romance novels (no one’s attacking you, chill) to insta-love (“Ours is legit.”) to the writer within the book, this book was a damn fucked up read. This book literally had Benton speaking for Colleen Hoover and the way she replied to criticism. Every time Benton said something about writing, I could see Hoover writing it as a backhanded slap to reviewers who’d dissed the insta-love, the romance in her books. And I’m sorry, but I don’t agree to replying to criticism in a freaking book okay? It’s sneaky, and rude and frankly, bloody annoying. And it goes on throughout the book.

But that’s not to say she doesn’t have a good (semblance of a) plot. The fire, scars, and then last reveal – cool, cool. But not the stuff I’m interested in. Good thing she manages to make her books snappy and quick, and they manage to hook you on the first page -with the fucked up characters, the drab heroine and the alpha-but-not-really hero. Sigh.

And pardon me, but I’d liked to draw a few comparisons here:

SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT.

If you’ve read Confess, then apart from the confessions-to-paintings aspect, there was nothing respectable about the novel. November 9 boasts of a similar construct. Meeting once a year is very cool. But here’s what I didn’t get, why did the heroes have to have prior connections to the girl? Even in Confess, the guy knew the girl’s dying ex. And the painting hanging on her wall is his, given to her by dying boyfriend who said it was his. And in November 9, (MAJOR SPOILERS) Ben is the guy causes her burns leading to scars leading to insecurity leading to how he helps her realize her beauty and blah blah blah.

END OF SPOILERS.

Fallon and Ben were literal copy characters of previous Hoover novels. Simply with new names, new professions and new quirks stitched on to them. HOW IS THIS SO POPULAR? Could someone please explain the appeal of reading basically the same novel over and over again?

I read her books to get me out of a mini-slump and they reminded me why I was in one. And I’m not even mentioning the white-all-around characters, the death for plot’s sake, the completely ridiculously written Fallon who was so pathetic that I was cringing. Thank the lord for all the feminist, educated female writers I know of. There are ten of them for one of Fallon.

Two stars from my addled brain which was fuming with all the characterizations and an E for this one.

If you like your books chirpy but without an essence of truth, logic or remotely anything intelligent, November 9 is the one for you.

Until the next one,

Nia Carnelio.

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2 thoughts on “November 9 – Colleen Hoover | 2 Stars

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