Of Wise Uncles and Bored Nieces

So, it was my dad’s birthday today. My aunt [his oldest sister] and her husband came over for dinner. Knowing how much the uncle blabbers, I went out to do some of my long pending work. But then, I had to return, back home to the wisdom of my uncle who loved giving my life lessons and shizz like that. I enjoy them, not.

Laughing on the outside, dying on the inside.

Laughing on the outside, dying on the inside.

Everytime I see him, he has something or the other of mine to criticize – my behaviour, my books, me – it goes on and on. This time, he chose to lecture me on his favourite topic: Sports.

Quite helpfully, he told me my life was useless because I didn’t ‘sport‘. But don’t worry, yours truly didn’t back down – I asked him if he read books and when he replied in the negative, I promptly told him his life was useless. Even-Steven, bitch.

He’s been quite the nosy git all my life – don’t go outside after seven, [I came back home at eight today], the hypocrite has sent his daughter all the way to the middle east to work. She’s happy and successful and I’m happy for her -but, bro, you don’t need to boast about her getting a promotion. Or the fact that big shot people come to you for sports.

THIS.

THIS.

I’ve probably read more in a month than he has his entire life. Wealth and sports, do not a smart man make. But, hey, e was a guest in my home, politeness was required but not too much. I’ve got no time for idiots who look down upon the things I love and use it as a staircase to get their hobbies up top. All throughout his lecture, I kept switching from my poker face to my bitch face.

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Today’s lesson for you is: Don’t be a dick and insult someone’s hobby. Don’t insult something they love.

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That is all. Also, if you didn’t figure it out yet, the ‘wise’ part of the title is complete sarcasm.

Can I get a hell yeah for annoying relatives?

Until tomorrow,

Nia Carnelio.

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