Of Wise Uncles and Bored Nieces

So, it was my dad’s birthday today. My aunt [his oldest sister] and her husband came over for dinner. Knowing how much the uncle blabbers, I went out to do some of my long pending work. But then, I had to return, back home to the wisdom of my uncle who loved giving my life lessons and shizz like that. I enjoy them, not.

Laughing on the outside, dying on the inside.

Laughing on the outside, dying on the inside.

Everytime I see him, he has something or the other of mine to criticize – my behaviour, my books, me – it goes on and on. This time, he chose to lecture me on his favourite topic: Sports.

Quite helpfully, he told me my life was useless because I didn’t ‘sport‘. But don’t worry, yours truly didn’t back down – I asked him if he read books and when he replied in the negative, I promptly told him his life was useless. Even-Steven, bitch.

He’s been quite the nosy git all my life – don’t go outside after seven, [I came back home at eight today], the hypocrite has sent his daughter all the way to the middle east to work. She’s happy and successful and I’m happy for her -but, bro, you don’t need to boast about her getting a promotion. Or the fact that big shot people come to you for sports.



I’ve probably read more in a month than he has his entire life. Wealth and sports, do not a smart man make. But, hey, e was a guest in my home, politeness was required but not too much. I’ve got no time for idiots who look down upon the things I love and use it as a staircase to get their hobbies up top. All throughout his lecture, I kept switching from my poker face to my bitch face.


Today’s lesson for you is: Don’t be a dick and insult someone’s hobby. Don’t insult something they love.


That is all. Also, if you didn’t figure it out yet, the ‘wise’ part of the title is complete sarcasm.

Can I get a hell yeah for annoying relatives?

Until tomorrow,

Nia Carnelio.


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